Subject: Re: Confessions?

We're waiting on Dan, Karl, and Matt by my count...

Subject: Re: Confessions?

Farron's joy at the Sunmaster's sudden appearance is palpable. The darkness that has gripped his heart these last hours (days? weeks?) is almost forgotten. He moves to help the Sunmaster, but Sa'id is already there, helping him into Gully's home, and the Sunmaster doesn't give Farron a second look. No matter. His journey was clearly taxing and it didn't take two of them to help the old man into the house.

Inside, Farron listens as the Sunmaster speaks of Pelor and The Demon, of dark power and of hope, of purity. The Sunmaster was right. Fear and doubt, anger and suspicion were the portals through which the darkness could enter. This wasn't a matter of faith. It was fact, cold, dark and tight around his heart.

The Sunmaster looks around the room, meeting each man eye-to-eye, and Farron fears what is coming. He fears what the Sunmaster might see, yet he longs to be seen, to be helped. The longing is stronger than the fear, apparently, because he is able to meet the Sunmaster's gaze and hold it just as he utters the words "Better that you stay here." Rejected. But what did you expect? He doesn't even need you. Sa'id is his chosen. You're just redundant.

"But I can help," the Sunmaster continues, just as Farron was about to break the gaze and look anywhere but those sharp, clear eyes set in that wrinkled face. Help. The word echoed in his head setting up a vibration that seemed to crack a shell he hadn't even realized had formed around him. Tiny rays of light seemed to flicker through the cracks and for the first time in days hope didn't seem like folly. Confession. The new word seemed to hit him twice, coming at him once with a face of hope, offering a new start and new strength, but then rebounding with another darker face, promising shame, pain, rejection. The old man will lure you onto holy ground, and there you will die! Farron shuddered at the prospect of facing the Sunmaster. He felt like the very embodiment of all the old man's warnings. Maybe the Sunmaster could help. Or maybe Farron would end as a cautionary tale for the others. Either way he'd be free. . .

"So be it," he says, surprised to hear the words aloud. "I will confess to you."

Subject: The sunmaster's confession

Fellus pauses, letting the weight of each man's words settle in the room. His hesitance to proceed showing the gravity of the commitment to each man far more than speeches would. Finally, he says quietly to Kasen, "Knight? Could you please bring the others back inside?" Kasen briefly considers correcting the Sunmaster on his proper title, but is then almost overwhelmed by a sudden realization. When High Priest Fellus, Sunmaster of Pelor calls you a Knight, then you ARE one, or no one is. He steps out and calls to Garyth and the guardsmen.

Once everyone is inside, Fellus has the men clear away the benches and tables from the common room, creating an open space in the middle of the floor. He kneels there, gesturing for everyone else to kneel in a circle. He grabs Sa'id's hand to have the wizard sit next to him, and much to Farron's surprise, pulls Farron down at his other side. He says in a whisper to them both, "Please stay by my side. I will need your strength for this."

He waits for the men to get settled and quiet, then says in a mild voice that lacks any hint of an old man's waver, "Men, brothers, children of light. It is not only to the Gods that we must expose ourselves in open confession, but to one another. Each man must know the pain and doubt of the man at his side, so that when one is threatened, all may act to save him. Make no mistake. The greatest threat to your soul you will ever face will be the journey to the demon's black temple. It will be better for the man who falls in battle along the way, than for the man who surrenders himself to the Dread Devourer. I call upon Pelor for supplication and strength, and some of you do as well. But all the Gods of Good are Pelor's ally in this struggle. The Mighty Sun, the Lord of Battles, the Lady of Root and Branch; no matter which of them you call upon, your voice today will be heard."

A silence descends upon the room. Almost it seems to have been separated off from the rest of the world, and things outside the circle become faint and indistinct. The Sunmaster removes a large candle and a gold bound book from his pack, and places them on the floor in front of him. The candle he lights, then pushes out to the center of the circle. The book he opens and leaves lying on the floor in front of him. There is a ceremony to his movements. A grace that comes from much repetition. When he reads from the book, his voice is a song, deep and powerful.

Sunlord, lifebringer
Death makes way
A lifetime is given
Let us dwell in it

Lightbringer, darkbane
Shadows give way
A bright place is given
Let us dwell in it

Lawgiver, soul teacher
Evil gives way
A path is given
Let us dwell in it

When he finishes, there is something in the air that makes the hair stand on end. Something else is in the room. Something ancient and vast beyond comprehension. Farron and Sa'id share one glance. They have felt this before, in the room where Sa'id spoke truth before Pelor.

Fellus removes some of the tension by smiling at the men around him. "I will go first."

"My name is Davoram Fellus. By the Grace of Pelor, called to service in His great name. I have walked this world for 120 years, 110 of them dedicated to the Sunlord. I know that he holds a great place for his faithful worshippers in the Bright Halls. I know that glory beyond understanding awaits us there. I know that eternal joy in his service and at his feet as his children is what he offers to those who follow him." He pauses, swallowing loudly, "And I am afraid to die. I came to this place knowing what was expected of me. Knowing that I must face the demon and his servants. Knowing that my life matters not at all as long as the darkness is driven back. But still I am afraid. And I am afraid of what my fear means about me. How strong is my faith if I fear to face Pelor's final judgements? I fear that I will not be strong enough, and that the demon will win. I fear that I will fail those counting on me to succeed so that they may live. I fear what I will tell Pelor when I must stand before him and explain why I was not strong enough to do his will."

He closes his eyes, "Pelor, grant me strength beyond my own. Grant me power to do this one final work in your name. Please, help me find my courage."

He stops, a long silence draws out, then he turns and looks at Sa'id, and smiles.

Subject: Re: The sunmaster's confession

Sa'id's head is spinning. Confession now? And what would Fellus possibly have to confess? It is all Sa'id can do not to bolt from the room. He takes the Sunmaster's hand, still in a daze, and kneels beside him.

Then he feels the presence.

A tremor runs through the necromancer's body. I can't lie, he thinks. I am doomed.

The Sunmaster begins his confession. Fear? The Sunmaster was afraid? Surprising. Moving, even -- and suddenly, Sa'id is choking back tears. Even one so suffused with grace, so close to his god, could still be afraid? It made the Sunmaster... one of them.

But he can still feel the pressure of the divine on his skull, and he can't banish the knowledge that likes will burn with punitive fire, far more painful than anything Sa'id could ever conjure.

Fear. All of them felt fear. Fear was not a sin. The Sunmaster wasn't... hadn't... couldn't entertain the possibility of betrayal and murder. Nor Farron, nor Kasen, nor Garyth... none of them. The darkness burns in my heart, and I am alone in this. Sa'id can feel himself teetering on the brink of something, rocking back and forth, as though on a tightrope. The slightest misstep could send him plummeting into madness.

Fellus smiles at him. A smile of relief and of grace. Fellus was relieved to have confessed his fear before everyone. It is more than the necromancer can bear -- the tears come, and he bows his head, sobbing quietly.

OOC: Sa'id is not ready to confess, not quite yet.