Subject: Re: The sunmaster's confession

There's a long pause after Pensive finishes. Garyth realizes that he has to speak. When he'd told the Sunmaster that he would give his confession, he'd expected that it would happen in private, where it couldn't do any harm. But to back out now would be just as much an admission of weakness as just to speak. And he does want to speak, Garyth realizes. The burden of silent worry and doubt has been wearing him down, and he wants to let it go.

He lets out a long sigh, then speaks. "My name is Garyth tel'Ardan." He pauses, unsure of what to say next. The words come slowly at first. "A few days ago I saw an army routed by an image of the demon, when victory was nearly theirs and would have saved my home. The soldiers broke and ran and tripped over their own feet in their fear. I know that fear, because I felt a shadow of it when we first met Mission's mistress, here at the trading post a few weeks ago. I had always thought myself a brave man, but I ran like a child from that woman, my terror was so blind. I don't know how I will be able to stand before the demon, if I can't even face his minion."

Oddly, his voice seems more sure now than before, and the words come more easily. "But more than that, even if I find the courage to stand, I doubt I have the strength or skill that this task needs. I'm young--my twenty-first birthday is next month. I don't know of anyone else as young as me that was made captain and given command, and the past few days have made me realize that I'm not ready for it. If times were different, I would have room for mistakes and miscalculations, but times are what they are. Every error costs a life, and I have made many errors." In his mind, he can still hear the screams of the townspeople as they fell beneath the halfling arrows, or as they were crushed by the fleeing mass of their own neighbors. "We lost dozens of people on the road to the forest. I was in command--every one of those lives was my responsibility."

"I don't know if the gods can make me a better soldier, but I have no other hope remaining. I know my own strength is not enough." Garyth swallows and closes his eyes. "I put myself in Pelor's hands now, to place me on what path he sees fit. I pray that he gives me the strength to walk it, wherever it leads."

Subject: Re: The sunmaster's confession

Osred clears his throat. "I am Osred, servant of Hieroneus," he booms, his voice rolling richly over the group. I have striven to do right and protect the weak since the Lord lifted me from the cesspool of moral filth I'd wallowed in most of my life. I..." here he pauses for a moment, the oratory quality of his voice faltering. When he resumes speaking he seems smaller, somehow. "I have not always succeeded. In fighting the servants of the demon, I have taken joy in the glory of battle, not just to honor Hieroneus, but also for myself." His voice deepens, carrying clearly to everyone's ears, louder than it needs to be, in truth. "I have been proud, too sure of myself and not just of the Lord. I have wanted to see the blood of his halfling servants on my blade, not just as tribute to Hieroneus, but for myself, to avenge my men and my wounded pride. In perfect service to my god there is no room for the demon's will to grapple with my own, but going down that path, doing battle for my own glory, taking pride in abilities that are mine only through Hieroneus' grace--that the demon can use. He could could twist me until I served him in all but name. In the light of Pelor I rededicate myself to Hieroneus. Just as my Lord serves yours, Sunmaster, lending his strong right arm where it may serve, so I will serve you in fighting this evil, lending you strength where I may, and accepting strength from you in return."