Subject: Re: The sunmaster's confession

Rennik listens to the others, his own feelings a twisted mess inside his head. There has been no clarity or focus since the day of the wereboar attack on his village, and he had left no room for introspection since that time.

He was driven by the rage held barely in check, and the quest to perfect his body for a stand against the demon boar he swore to destroy. He had never thought to look for weaknesses of mind, gaps in the armor that could be exploited. Not until the Sunmaster's words.

And he found himself lacking.

"I am Rennik of the Chorrdath." He stood, coming just about to the height of those seated and kneeling around him. "I left my home on a quest for vengeance. I abandoned my village and family to seek out the demon boar that destroyed my life and future, and to see it cleaved before my axe. This has driven me these past several years, at first a white hot anger and now a smoldering ember."

"I have not stopped to think of weakness since that time - not weakness of mind. The elves strengthened my body and reflexes, and cooled my passions. The forest honed my skill and axe arm. My fears of not being equal to destroying the demon boar are gone, especially after killing its spawn here in this inn. But weakness of body is not what we have to fear, if this holy man speaks truth."

"My anger is my strength. To abandon that would be to cripple myself in battle. I know this. But my anger is not an opening, for it is directed against the evil and against the demon that threatens to finish the job its servant only started - destroying my home and tribe. My anger is pure, and will guide my blade. It is not my anger that worries me."

"I have been too long a puppet of fate. I have had no control over the events of my life, being pushed this way and that. My destiny was to be chief of the Chorrdath - until the day the demon boar attacked. It killed my betrothed and wounded my best friend - who later turned into its demon spawn and killed many more of my people before escaping."

"I had no choice but to leave and pursue these two servents of darkness, abandoning my home to unknown fates. I had no choice but to track these creatures these last years, learning of the ways to kill them from the lore of the elves. I had no choice but to fall in with humans to accomplish my goals. I had no choice but to kill my best friend and kinsman to save him and the world from the monster he had become. I have had no choices. I have been at the will of fate. I have been helpless."

"And I know wonder if this is not the will of the demon - that I pursue this vengeance to the heart of the mountain itself. That I come to him willingly and with hatred in my heart, so that he may grant my wish of revenge - and steal my mind at the point when it is most vulnerable, when the purpose that has driven me these long years is gone."

"I have sometimes thought about what will happen when I accomplish my goal, and I have found only emptiness and a lack of will to go on. My sense of duty tells me I must return to my village, but there is no warmth for me there. My sense of glory tells me to unite the tribes into a great nation, but I have seen the product of such a halfling nation and it was corrupt. My will stops at the mountain. After I kill the demon boar, I have no purpose."

"These companions of mine have become friends, and all of our homes are threatened. I will fight to destroy the demon to save our lands, for that is what is good and honorable and according to the will of the Goddess Mielikki. But I am afraid that such a powerful evil could corrupt my anger with th helplessness and guilt I still feel over the inability to save my betrothed, my friend, and my village."

"I have a symbol of the Lady's grace and strength in my wolf companion Tichenor. I would gladly accept any strength your god of light and warmth can offer."

With that, Rennik kneels and allows others to speak.