Universal Ineptitude

From: Matt

Subject: Invasion 2; Universal Ineptitude

(ODM: Man what a comedy of errors this round turned out to be)

"Guard," Buchek calls, stepping to the door of the cell and gripping the bars, "free me! I fear that the raiders I warned of are upon us, and they will certainly fire this building. I don't wish to roast in a cage! Free me! I pledge, by my ancestors and my blade, to defend this settlement against its attackers." [Diplomacy roll 12 - 10 (rushed) - 1 (skill) = 1, fail)

"You pledge by the ancestors of the barbarians that attack us! What good is that word! If this tower burns, you will burn with it!"

With that, the guard's moves to the door to view the courtyard.

"Flaming arrows! Cursed savages!"

He runs out to defend the outpost.

...

Agreed on their course of action, Erk and Kayla sprint for the tower, hoping to avoid a flaming arrow in the back long enough to free Buchek from the guards. Flaming arrows rain on either side of them, but they soon make it outside the bowmen's range.

Empathically called back to his master, Fancek Fa arches his back and sidesteps toward the door. Grabbing at the mace hanging by his side, the raider howls in anger (enraged) brings the heavy head down with all his might... but Fa was too fast, slipping backwards and bolting for the door. (Raider attack 12 v. AC 16, miss. Fa withdraws from combat, no AoO).

Holn sees Fa bolt through the door and almost loses his balance as the cat barrels around behind him. Startled, he looks to the door to see a brutish man in dark leathers, covered in grease and dark fat barreling towards him screaming.

[Initiative: Raider 20, Holn 8]

Telwyn, offbalance, drops his bow with a clatter and draws his short sword. Spinning toward his attacker, he swings at the marauder's neck, but the barbarian steps deftly behind the wooden support for the guard tower. Telwyn's sword, which would have found the marauder's throat, impacts against the wooden support sending a large chunk of wood flying back into the half-elf's face. [Attack 1, automatic failure]

Stepping from around the support, the marauder swings his heavy mace in a wide arc to crush Telwyn's skull, but the half-elf learned quickly from his opponent and backpedaled behind the ladder up the guard tower. The mace missed its mark [attack 6 vs. AC 16] but shatters the wooden ladder, sending bits of wood flying in all directions.

As Telwyn readies himself to strike again, he sees the dark shapes of two more marauders stepping onto the bridge from the other side of the river 50 feet away and another volley of arrows sail over his head.

...

Elotai struggles to keep his grip on the boy. "Stop! Do you want to battle the whole guard? The captain is calming things down!"

The boy struggles against him for only a moment, then his face reddens in shame. Turning toward the door, he almost collides with three guards rushing in from the guardhouse.

"Flaming arrows from the grass!"

The bar is again thrown into chaos, as the man push for the door. Elotai and Bermid are pressed back against the bar as the men arm themselves and push for the door.

The boy sits heavily on the floor beside the bar nad hangs his head. "I am a disgrace... to my family, to the guard... what am I even doing out here?"

His emotions in turmoil, he looks from the guards to the boy and back. He feels as though he once had a vision of flaming arrows, but he can't quite recall it. It wasn't a strong image, just of fire and flight... he wished he could remember more.

...

As the next volley of arrows lands, a powerful horn blast comes from the grass - a deep, powerful, resonant sound that starts low in pitch and finishes high. The battle begins in earnest.

From: Clara