Before this week, I hadn't been to the gym in almost two months. Between trips and work and family illnesses I had been too busy, too sick, or too far away to go. Finally, though, I managed to get healthy and rested, and finished a big project at the office, and picked up my exercise routine where I left off. In a lot of ways it has felt like I'm starting all over again; the routines and people feel unfamiliar, and, of course, I've lost a lot of stamina during my hiatus. But it's good to be back, if for no other reason than for being reintroduced to a phenomenon that had managed to slip my mind over the course of my absence.

It all came back to me Wednesday morning, when I reintroduced myself to spin class. By about the twenty-minute mark (in an hour-long class) I was really starting to labor. My thighs were burning, sweat was pouring down my face and stinging my eyes, and my breath was coming in ragged gasps. I found myself repeating that familiar mantra in my mind: "Just two more songs. Two more songs and I'll have been here a respectable amount of time. Two more songs and I can quit for the day."

I was almost ready to quit when something strange happened, something that I had forgotten in the past two months. Completely unprompted by anything going on around me, images of Jason suddenly popped into my mind. In my mind I could see the way he holds up his arms when he wants you to pick him up out of bed, hear the gleeful sound of his shrieks when you tickle him. And with those images, this incredible feeling of peace came over me, and I found the corner of my mouth turning up in a smile.

I don't know if this is what people mean when they talk about "runner's high" or if it's just a weird trick of my consciousness, but this imagery and the Zen-like calm that comes with it is something happens to me a lot during that spin class, but rarely seems to happen elsewhere, if ever. Just when I'm feeling like I'm about to hit the wall, I'll think of the weight of Jason's head on my shoulder when he's tired, and the softness of his hair on my cheek, and I'll be recharged. It's a fleeting thing, too, something that I can never quite seem to summon on my own, or hold onto once it's there. It's usually not long before the instructor decides to kick it up to the next level, and then there's no room left in my head for anything other than the exertion.

But, man, it's worth it. If this is what marathonners experience when they run their races, I can really see the appeal.

One night last week, I came home from work to find Jason already at the table, eating his dinner. That's not particularly unusual, especially when things get busy at the office, but what caught my eye was the teddy bear that was sitting on the table looking at him. He's had that bear for most of his life, having received it from Juliette's mom not too long after he was born. Up until fairly recently, though, he didn't show much interest in it; it just sat on a little Jason-sized chair in his room. So I wasn't expecting to see it anywhere else.

"Are you eating with your bear?" I asked him.

"Yeah," he said with a smile and a big nod. He then proceeded to hold up a handful of food to the bear's mouth and make chewing noises.

"Oh," I said. "Is the bear eating?"

"Yeah!" he replied. "Yeah, yeah! Bear! Hungry." The bear continued chewing his food. (The bear still hasn't quite mastered the whole swallowing thing, though—most of the food ended up on the table between his legs.) I smiled and set my bag down. I was just turning to say something to Juliette when I heard Jason tell his bear "I love you!" (Or, rather, "I yuh you!") Juliette and I just about died from cute overload.

For the past few weeks, Jason's interest in the bear has been growing. Every night when I run his bath, Jason runs straight to the bear's chair when I tell him it's time to take his clothes off. He grabs the bear and hugs it ("Hug. Bear.") and pouts a little when I tell him he can't take the bear into the bath with him. He throws it sometimes, or tries to take off it's red-and-white maple leaf sweater.

Of course, being the age he is, Jason's attention does wander. He hasn't played with the bear much over the past week, instead constantly asking for his tunnel and his soccer ball. Still, I have a feeling that the bear is going to be a consistent favorite.

After dinner that night, Jason wanted to watch The Little Mermaid. Moreover, he wanted both me and the bear to watch with him. He was very particular about where each of us sat: Jason against the left armrest, I on the middle cushion, and the bear between us. The three of us had a pretty good, cozy time.

Young Miles is the second omnibus in Lois McMaster Bujold's Vorkosigan Saga. Picking up a decade or so after the events of the first volume—which I read and enjoyed earlier this year—this set of stories recounts the events of the early career of Miles Vorkosigan, the son of Cordelia's Honor's protagonists, Cordelia Naismith and Aral Vorkosigan. Over the course of the three constituent works (The Warrior's Apprentice, the short story The Mountains of Mourning, and The Vor Game) Miles has adventures with a mercenary fleet, solves a mystery in his home district's backcountry, graduates from the Barrayaran Imperial Academy, stops an interstellar war, and rescues his emperor. As you might guess from a description like that, it's a pretty fun read.

If anything, I liked Young Miles even more than Cordelia's Honor. The backstory of the first volume was woven into these stories quite neatly, and combined with the fact that new characters brought new perspectives on old events, it made returning to this world feel like slipping on a comfortable old sweater; I experienced a feeling of nostalgia that was surprising given that it had only been a few months since my first encounter with the series. Additionally, the change in protagonist from Cordelia to Miles worked well for me, though that's no surprise given how many of my favorite SF and fantasy adventures have been coming-of-age stories. Sometimes I wonder if I'll ever get over that; most of the time I don't think I want to.

The only thing that bothered me a bit about this collection was the overall structure of the third section, The Vor Game. That novel actually won the Hugo when it was originally released, something that I don't quite get. The story was kind of sprawling and all over the place, and while everything does eventually tie together, it felt loose and episodic while I was actually in it.

Still, the character of Miles Vorkosigan was instantly likeable, both empathetic and funny. I understand he is the main character of most of the rest of the series, and I'm looking forward to reading more about him.

Started: 2010-04-15 | Finished: 2010-04-23

Purchase from Amazon

Mother's Day weekend was a little up and down for us.

Saturday morning we spent some time playing in the yard. Jason can't get enough of his water table, which is great since summer is rapidly approaching.

We went to Lake Miramar later, and decided on the spur of the moment to walk the entire 5-mile loop.

After dinner, because I am awesome, I volunteered to drive down to Mission Valley and pick up dessert from our favorite deli. The folks behind the counter were nice enough to let me take some pictures. (I should probably note that I didn't actually get one of these little pies. I don't know why. But the bread pudding and custard I did get were good.)

We had big plans for Sunday, involving Juliette sleeping in, then going out for breakfast and dinner. Unfortunately, Jason's stomach had other ideas—he woke up at about two in the morning and threw up nine times over the next eight hours. None of us got much sleep, though, as you can see, Jason did manage to catch a late morning nap on the couch. Just so you don't worry, he was feeling much better by dinner time and slept fine last night.

In an unrelated note, I'm trying to be a little more disciplined about which photos I keep, so this week's set is a much more manageable size:

Dear Juliette,

I just wanted to take a moment, here where everybody can see it, to tell you that I love you and I'm glad you're the one I get to partner with in raising our son. I couldn't do any of this without you. Happy Mother's Day.

Jason has something he wants to say, too:

My latest piece is up at Life As A Human: Games As Art: To Be or Not to Be? Check it out!

Don't worry, I am still writing for Sakeriver as well. I expect my normal four-times-a-week schedule to resume next week.

A day late again, but here are my favorite pictures from this weekend:

The Mexican sage in our back yard started blooming recently. All in all the yard is looking pretty nice right now.

Juliette and Jason played with the water table on Saturday morning. I love the look on his face here.

Saturday afternoon we went and visited some friends and their daughter, Lilliana. This picture was pretty representative of their interaction—she kept wanting to hug and kiss him and he was like "Why are you doing that?"

Lilliana had these little boxes that I think are meant to teach colors since each one was full of toys that were the same color as the box. Jason was less interested in the boxes' educational value, though, than he was in wearing them as hats. (I don't know why, but he loves hats right now, and tries to turn just about everything into a hat.) Unfortunately, the boxes were a little snug on his head and he had trouble getting them off on his own.

I'm not totally thrilled with how enthralled Jason can be by the TV sometimes, but it does make it a lot easier to get a few things done in the morning.  In case you're wondering, that's Ricky Gervais singing Elmo a "celebrity lullaby" on Sesame Street.

On Sunday we went to the pool for the first time in almost a year. Jason had unfortunately forgotten most of what he learned in his infant swimming classes and was kind of apprehensive about the toddler pool at first, even though it's shallow enough for him to stand up along its entire length. But he loosened up eventually and had a good time.

I had trouble winnowing down the full set this week, but here are some highlights from the rest of the set:

I was recently accepted as a contributor to a new web magazine: Life As a Human. My first piece was published today! I am overwhelmed with excitement!

By the way, I recommend checking out the rest of the site. The range of experience and the quality of writing represented there has made for some great reading. I've been following them for the past several weeks and quite enjoy it.

Woo!

Yesterday morning, Jason and I were sitting at the table, as usual, eating our breakfast. I was just finishing my English muffin, pondering the improbability of the silence of the last several minutes, when Jason came up with a request.

Jason: Daddy!

Me: Yeah, buddy?

Jason: Water!

Me: You want water?

Jason: (points) Doggy water!

Me: That's right, the dog has water. Do you want water, too?

Jason: Yeah.

Me: OK, I'll get you some water, but you have to say please, first.

Jason: Please. First.

I meant to post these pictures on Monday, but between Jason getting sick and a particularly busy week at my office, I just couldn't find the time. I know, "Excuses, excuses." In any case, here's what I have from last weekend's photos:

We went to a new park in Liberty Station on Saturday:

We got some lunch at a seafood place nearby:

Then after we ate, I took some pictures of the Point Loma marina:

The rest of the set: